tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1949425054295660529.post1227656247799600951..comments2024-03-29T08:14:16.520+01:00Comments on From My Mental Library: Read in 2013 - 21: Goodnight DearLibrarianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05704656564078750607noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1949425054295660529.post-57506253953085813532013-07-05T07:34:21.546+02:002013-07-05T07:34:21.546+02:00You believing that I could write a book is very fl...You believing that I could write a book is very flattering, Kay!<br />That's a funny story about your sister's cheer :-)Librarianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05704656564078750607noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1949425054295660529.post-12854765182539692092013-07-04T15:38:44.564+02:002013-07-04T15:38:44.564+02:00That is why I love non fiction books, they are rea...That is why I love non fiction books, they are real stories about real people! <br />Now, you might not know this about me, but the one outstanding gift of my life is recognizing the talents of others. You might not ever choose to write a book, but I truly think that you should do so!<br />And I had to chuckle at your choice of words as my sister Pam was a cheerleader in high school (HEAD cheerleader, I might add, on top of being the President of her class) and she had a cheer that I loved to hear:<br />ALL YOU GOTTA DO<br />IS PUT YOUR MIND TO IT.<br />BUCKLE DOWN, BUCKLE DOWN.<br />DO IT, DO IT, DO IT.<br /><br />(Yes, I know the cheer is buckle down, not knuckle down, but it is close enough, and the meaning is the same!)Kay G.https://www.blogger.com/profile/07228498846814735537noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1949425054295660529.post-51158340834066595682013-07-03T07:22:16.308+02:002013-07-03T07:22:16.308+02:00Kristi, I am sorry that you've had to undergo ...Kristi, I am sorry that you've had to undergo the traumatic experience of losing someone so close to you more than once.<br />Yes, on a general level, society is a bit "better" now in dealing with grief, but there's still lots to learn and many a taboo to break.<br />Not long ago, a former class mate told me, all exasperated, how her mother-in-law had sorted out her husband's things and given most of it away only days after his death; she found that very wrong. I tried to explain to her that there is no "right" or "wrong" when it comes to grief; everyone has a different approach, there is no neatly outlined process one can follow step by step (although there are often similarities). Not sure she understood me.Librarianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05704656564078750607noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1949425054295660529.post-30225972924406233762013-07-03T07:17:59.969+02:002013-07-03T07:17:59.969+02:00Dear Kay,
I remember you suggesting the book-idea ...Dear Kay,<br />I remember you suggesting the book-idea to me some time ago; I love writing and I know it helps me to remain mentally balanced (more or less!!!), but I just can't imagine me knuckling down long enough to write an entire book.<br />Yes, you'd probably like this book. It's so unpretentious and so real - because what happened is, sadly, a real story told by the person who experienced it.Librarianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05704656564078750607noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1949425054295660529.post-21937140486382093782013-07-03T05:59:11.339+02:002013-07-03T05:59:11.339+02:00So many people have such experiences. It is good t...So many people have such experiences. It is good that someone has written a good book about his experiences. My husband died of Alzheimer's - but after a long and difficult illness. However, when I was in kindergarten my first adopted father died from one half hour to the next of a heart attack in the night. It is still very difficult to talk about, but I didn't think for years and years how this must have affected my mother who was only 35. When this happened, the social attitude was completely of the stiff-upper-lip, let=s get on with life, and children are so resilient nothing will affect them for long. I am so glad that people have more insight now, though not nearly what is needed.<br /><br />Thank you for writing about this book, Meike. Thickethouse.wordpresshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17187303460677067276noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1949425054295660529.post-47023502213168690832013-07-03T01:06:10.458+02:002013-07-03T01:06:10.458+02:00Dear Meike,
This is a book that I would very much ...Dear Meike,<br />This is a book that I would very much like to read. I am glad that he shared his story and also included the letters that people wrote to him. <br />I read your comment above, Meike and I am wondering if you could write a letter and mail it to his publisher. Perhaps they could forward it to him. It's worth a try.<br />I wonder if you would not like to write a book about grief yourself. Just a thought... Kay G.https://www.blogger.com/profile/07228498846814735537noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1949425054295660529.post-12394128340965565872013-07-02T22:15:30.383+02:002013-07-02T22:15:30.383+02:00Yes, still, Monica. I know I am very lucky to have...Yes, still, Monica. I know I am very lucky to have both my parents close by, and both in comparatively good health, but of course I can't help knowing that some day that is going to change.Librarianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05704656564078750607noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1949425054295660529.post-32941732295727670722013-07-02T22:04:26.883+02:002013-07-02T22:04:26.883+02:00As you point out, the first year after a loss like...As you point out, the first year after a loss like that is likely to be the worst to get through. Finding new ways to deal with all the various celebrations and traditions etc. Diary or blog, keeping some kind of record of it can be a good thing. For me it's been a bit like that with the deaths of my parents (I started blogging a few months before my mum died). Not the same as losing a husband/wife or a child - but still. DawnTreaderhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04533307672147117843noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1949425054295660529.post-27666406190451848232013-07-02T19:57:16.836+02:002013-07-02T19:57:16.836+02:00Losing a child must be the hardest thing, much har...Losing a child must be the hardest thing, much harder than losing a spouse or sibling or parent. I am glad you found some things, like the diary, and some people to be helpful.Librarianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05704656564078750607noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1949425054295660529.post-63942402377989319722013-07-02T19:55:47.459+02:002013-07-02T19:55:47.459+02:00Thank you for recommending How to Talk to a Widowe...Thank you for recommending How to Talk to a Widower; I am going to try and find the book. Your recommendation matters a lot to me, you know!Librarianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05704656564078750607noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1949425054295660529.post-21489768969601990102013-07-02T19:54:53.496+02:002013-07-02T19:54:53.496+02:00My diary, if you like, was my blog. It is not as m...My diary, if you like, was my blog. It is not as much a diary of events as an account of various situations and feelings at irregular intervals. There is one post called "Seven months and seven days". I wrote that on one of the worst days I had so far.Librarianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05704656564078750607noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1949425054295660529.post-70556752926017268492013-07-02T19:53:13.519+02:002013-07-02T19:53:13.519+02:00When I downloaded it, it was for free; I gather fr...When I downloaded it, it was for free; I gather from Darren's blog that he keeps offering the ebook for free whenever possible (there are certain rules, apparently).<br />Yes, no matter how your husband died, Norma, it will have been indredibly hard to bear for you. I sometimes wonder what's harder; to know of one's spouse's terminal illness and have a certain amount of time to "prepare" for their death, or the suddenness at which it happened in my husband's and Darren's wife's case.Librarianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05704656564078750607noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1949425054295660529.post-81716394088143484132013-07-02T19:50:26.687+02:002013-07-02T19:50:26.687+02:00I wish I could have left a message at Darren's...I wish I could have left a message at Darren's blog - comments seem not to be activated. Maybe he does not wish to hear from people anymore, about something he has (maybe, maybe not) managed to come to terms with.Librarianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05704656564078750607noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1949425054295660529.post-35561120770185292822013-07-02T19:35:10.804+02:002013-07-02T19:35:10.804+02:00I wrote a one year diary after my son David died -...I wrote a one year diary after my son David died - it remains one of my unpublished books because I haven't attemoted to get it published. Some of the less sympathetic people are portrayed too accurately to shame them in public but it is remarkable how responses vary when a loved one dies. Some people are so sympathetic and helpful. Others not so. <br />I found that keeping the doiary was very helpful and would recommend it as a response though, as Frances points out, it casn be just too difficult.Scriptor Senexhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17795521284516432520noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1949425054295660529.post-9550514301301375722013-07-02T18:36:48.232+02:002013-07-02T18:36:48.232+02:00How brave, to keep a diary like that. I tried, aft...How brave, to keep a diary like that. I tried, after my husband died, but just couldn't do it.<br /><br />Have you read How to Talk to a Widower by Jomathan Tropper? It's wonderful.Frances Garroodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10614916006798375706noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1949425054295660529.post-63891245384577953862013-07-02T18:27:49.626+02:002013-07-02T18:27:49.626+02:00It's hard for me to imagine not crying during ...It's hard for me to imagine not crying during the reading of such a book. I'm curious about the book. My experience with my husband's death was not similar to yours or the author's, but hard nonetheless. I won't go into details here, but a spouse's death is one of the hardest things to experience. peace be with you, dear Meike.Nonniehttp://faithinabottle.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1949425054295660529.post-80296037771657048492013-07-02T09:26:28.125+02:002013-07-02T09:26:28.125+02:00Most of us can hardly imagine anything worse than ...Most of us can hardly imagine anything worse than finding a loved one dead. For you it would have had a special resonance, and I am glad that you felt the book dealt with it well. I shall go and look at his blog. Jenny Woolfhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16881781466502273314noreply@blogger.com