Several times I have written about this - for me - most life-changing event; for instance here and here.
Today, it is my Mum's guest post that commemorates Steve's death on my blog:
A Sad Memory of a Lovely Evening
Once a week I go to a kindergarten, to read and show picture-books to the little girls and boys. There are about 45 kids between 2 1/2 and 6 years old. It is always very cute and pleasant for me, and, so I hope, for the children as well.
I am quite integrated in every event the kindergarten starts, such as Christmas, Santa Claus (here called Nikolaus), Easter, not to forget the summer fest and the good-bye-party for those children who leave the kindergarten in autumn to start school.
And one of those nice events is every year at the end of October: The kids have built lanterns of paper and light them with a candle inside (mostly with a battery-light nowadays...) and then all meet in front of a small palace at our home town. A lake belongs to it, it is called Monrepos, that means "my rest". We meet there at dawn, and all the parents, grandparents, siblings, aunties and uncles are supposed to come and celebrate the lantern-procession together.
The kids baked apple-bread in the kindergarten, the parents bring children's "punch" (of course without alcohol, a mixture of hot tea and juice, honey and spices), and we ate and drank after walking around the lake with the lanterns lit.
Three years ago, the same event was going on, and I enjoyed it so very much, to be among them all. We walked around the pond in the dark, our way lit only by the lanterns, singing songs, one dad played the guitar, one granddad played the accordeon, it was really something for the heart! And I was so happy there.
One of the teachers drove me home, I hurried up to our flat to tell my husband about my evening- and then: He was waiting for me, saying: "Don't take your coat off, we have to go to Meike's, her husband died a few hours ago." I was so shocked, I couldn't even believe, but I had to. I wonder, how could I be in such a good mood, while my son-in-law died nearby without feeling anything about it?
At once, the world stood still, nothing was as it was before, especially for Meike, of course, but also for me.
Since this time, they always invite me to join them again for the walk with the lanterns, but I refused, I could not do it, the memory is too bad. Maybe I can manage it this year, when the day repeats for the third time.