I have never had a problem with getting older, or "revealing" my age to people. When I was little, there was a family in our neighbourhood where not even the children knew how old their mother actually was. This changed in later years, and my Mum especially has been to many of this lady's birthdays over the decades. But I remember how silly I found this, since my parents never made such a fuss about their age.
Turning 30 was interesting - it made me feel really good, and I couldn't help but shake my head at how all of a sudden, cosmetics companies sent me adverts for anti-age creams and wrinkles concealers, and my health insurance started sending me a different customer magazine than the one I had received until then.
At 40, I thought I had the coming years neatly mapped out in front of me, and again I had no trouble with that number. Little did I know that 1 1/2 years later, I was going to be widowed, with my life changed forever.
For my 50th birthday, I was happy to be able to rent "my" entire Irish Pub and fill it with my family, friends and neighbours. Shortly afterwards, I had to undergo major eye surgery - partly related to my age.
What am I going to do when I turn 60? What will my life look like then?
Where will I be, job-wise, living-wise, relationship-wise? Actually, I do not expect either my job nor my living arrangements to change, and especially not my relationship - as far as depends on me, O.K. is my "forever" man.
Of course nobody really knows what the future will bring.
Much like the rest of the world, Germany is undergoing rapid and radical changes that impact our daily lives. The company I work for could cease to exist or need to lay me off before I reach retirement age (currently 67 for me). My health could suffer, making me unable to keep a full time job or go for my beloved walks and hikes. O.K. could decide he's had enough of me. Political unrest and economy crisis could lead to dangerous circumstances beyond my control. Climate conditions could create problems in the area where I live.
The list is long and scary, but although I am realistic enough to know that all of this is possible, my general outlook is optimistic and hopeful where my personal future is concerned.
I'll stick to doing what is good for me for as long as I can. This sounds egoistical, but it makes sense - I can't be of any use to anyone, be it in my family, circle of friends or at work, when I'm not well and my life is off balanced.
Therefore, here's to turning 60 in three years, three months and three days!
As I know from personal experience, as you also do, one never knows what is around the corner. All one can do is live each day as it comes. My mother never revealed her age to anybody. She had strong views on this which I respected. It was not a vanity thing, it was because of the way people perceive you related to age which was more to the fore in her generation. I did not find out her age until she was in hospital late in life and I read the date of birth on her hospital wrist tab. I found it hard to talk about being 70 but now I have come to terms with it and see it as just a number and I don't dwell on it. People care little about age these days and that is a good thing.
ReplyDeleteYes, the age of a person does not have the same significance (at least not in our society) as it did for previous generations.
DeleteYou do so many things someone of your mother's generation would not have done at 70, and you know that I admire you for how you keep your mind active and stimulated with your university courses and in other ways, and the activities you do on your own, never saying "I'm on my own, I can't do this or that".
I had my 60th birthday this year and feel stronger and more optimistic than I have done for years. My 50's were spent dealing with the menopause and the deaths of my parents and parents-in-law. It was exhausting - physically and mentally.
ReplyDeleteMy life is limited in a lot of ways because I am the primary carer for my disabled son, but that is also something which keeps me feeling young. I am still parenting full-time, just like I was in my 30's. I just hope my brain can keep convincing my body that I am still in my 30's for as long as possible!
What you describe about your 50s is something many women experience at that time in their lives, I think - myself (partly) included.
DeleteOf course caring for your son makes for a life very different from mine (I have never had children), but I can see how it is like still being a young parent.
Your mind rules, Tracy :-)
It's early and I had to re-read this...at first, I thought, "How can Meike be turning 60 already? We're not that far apart in age!" then I saw the "three years" part.
ReplyDeleteYou're right that one never knows what's around the corner, and it's probably better that we don't. To me, it seems silly to hide one's true age. Several people I grew up with/friends/acquaintances died young and will never get to be the age I am now, so I try to remember that aging is a privilege. That being said, my 50th birthday is coming up in March and I feel a little weird about it. Not that there's anything wrong with being 50, it just seems like an impossible age for me to be. It's happened so fast!
Excactly, to age is a privilege - after all, we're still around, when so many others aren't anymore. And to age with grace and dignity, such as our dear fellow blogger Pat (Weaver of Grass) did, is a merit. In contrast, being young is neither a privilege or a merit - it just happens to last for a few precious years, and then it is gone, and that is true for each and everyone of us; time does not stand still for anyone.
DeleteI hope you are planning something special for your 50th birthday, Jennifer! I know what you mean about it feeling weird; it's hard to believe sometimes, isn't it!
I will be turning 75 in 2025 and it does feel pretty old to me. I try to keep busy and active but am realizing that my time is running out. I wish I knew when I will die so I could budget my money better. 5 years, 10 years, more...??? I could be spending wildly instead of being careful with my money as I have always been...
ReplyDeleteBeing careful with one's money is wise, Ellen, but I every now and then doing something nice with your money, just for yourself, is nice - you have earned it!
DeleteOf course it is realistic to think that, at 75, you have a larger number of years behind you than what you can expect to still be around for; same goes for me. I do not expect to reach 112, which I would be if I lived for another 56 years!
Keeping active and busy is best for both mind and body.
It's silly really that we regard birthdays ending in 0 as more important milestones than those in between - and yet I think most of us do. I only had one "big" celebration and that was my 40th. In retrospect I'm glad I did that while I could appreciate it! What I could not foresee then was that before I turned 50 I would already be in early retirement with pain problems. My 50th I celebrated "elsewhere" with just a few old friends (organised by them rather than by me). My 60th was even more low-key; and I'll probably try to avoid making a big fuss of my 70th next year as well... (Big gatherings just tend to make me tired these days!)
ReplyDeleteYes, it is silly, just as celebrating New Year is silly - in fact, our planet completes an orbit around the sun every day, depending on where you start counting :-) But it seems that we humans need such milestones in our lives, just like we appreciate special holidays and look forward to them every year.
DeleteI know you did not plan on retire early, and that you still feel the consequences of the accident. But from what I can see, you have carved out a way of life for yourself that suits your needs and wants, and if big gatherings aren't your thing, then there is no point in planning a big "do" for your 70th :-)
Meike, it's just that people often tend to "expect" one another to celebrate certain things with a big bang rather than in peace and quiet... ;-)
DeleteI agree, and if you don't meet their expectations, they are disappointed and find you "strange"... but who cares :-D
DeleteA thought-provoking post. I've never bothered much about my age or birthdays, being very low maintenance with few wants or needs. I've never worried about things beyond my control, either. Becoming ill was a blow, and not all else has gone as I would wish I suppose, but what will be will be.
ReplyDeleteNow you've done it - I have "Che sera, sera" in my head, as sung by Doris Day!
DeleteWhile I am very low maintenance in my daily life (except for sleep and walks - I need plenty of both, to function properly and feel well), I do love a good party, and I also love playing host and always hope that my guests have a good time, no matter if there are four or fourty.
We live in the now, so there is little use in troubling about a future that may never happen and you can't do anything about the past! That is what I tell myself, although it doesn't always work! And age? Health is what matters, not numbers.
ReplyDeleteYou are so right! Numbers are irrelevant when someone lacks health.
DeleteI also wasn't particularly fazed by turning 30 or 40. I'm 58 now, so I'll hit 60 a bit before you (1 year, 10 months and 12 days). I don't dread it, but like you, I am often wondering what the future could bring. I suppose it's natural!
ReplyDeleteYes, I suppose it is. I try to balance realism with optimism where my personal future is concerned, but it is hard to be optimistic about things on a larger scale.
DeleteDid I ever mention to you about the study done of the people who made it to 100? They were from all over the world. Some drank alcohol, some did not. Some were rich and some were poor. They all had two things in common-there wasn't a fat one in the bunch or a grouchy one. So, you will be fine! (Not good for me on either count...LOL!) 60 is young, by the way!
ReplyDeleteYou have not mentioned that particular study before, Kay, but I am not surprised. In his Christmas message, my hometown's Mayor wrote about the oldest citizen of our town, a lady who made it to 107 (I think) and whom he visited for every birthday since he's been in office. He wrote that what he won't ever forget about her is that she was always laughing.
DeleteI don't consider 60 very old anyway - some people are "old" at 28, others maintain their inner child's outlook well into their 90s!
Merry Christmas, Meike!
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas, Ellen!
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