Wednesday 7 March 2012

Worries & Relief (Partly...)

Who knows me in real life also knows that, most of the time, I am quite bouncy, cheerful and not easily brought down by events. And basically, this is still true today; I have such a lot to be happy about and plenty to look forward to.
But yesterday, I was rather subdued, and while some of my worries were partly relieved, another one has increased.

If you have been reading my blog for a while, you have come across my cat Pukky several times already. She is rather old and fragile - we don't know how old exactly, because she grew up on the streets, but the vet's estimate is somewhere around 15 years. Two of her fangs have been missing for 1 1/2 years now, and she has a known heart conditon and her thyroid is over-active, but until very recently, she still had a healthy appetite, following me around the house and especially into the kitchen every time I went in that direction.

For the past two to three weeks, she has lost so much weight, she is now at less than 2 kg (used to be 4!). Every little effort makes her lay down and rest instantly afterwards; she has stopped jumping up on the settee, her bed or my lap, which used to be her habit. When I lift her up and place her on my lap or the settee next to me, she just stays there. She purrs when I stroke her, and until yesterday, she purred loudly when I was getting her food ready (almost always with some medication mixed into it) and while she was eating.

Yesterday, we've been to the vet's. Her heart was examined, and things are not looking good. The antechamber is twice the size it should be, and there is danger of water accumulating so that she would literally drown internally. The right heart chamber is as weary as an old rubber band and has lost almost all of its elasticity, making it very difficult for the heart to pump blood at the rate it is needed. The weight loss is most likely due to both her thyroid and her heart problems, but to make sure we give her the right medication at the right dosage, a blood test is being made and I have to phone in today to learn the results.

When we were home, she was exhausted but wanted to eat, and in the evening, I sat on the settee with her for a long time, stroking her and listening to her purring.

This morning, when I came out of my bedroom, she did not get up from her favourite place (a door mat just in front of my bedroom door in the tiny hallway) and follow me into the kitchen; she just stayed there. I lifted her up and she did not purr. Usually, an egg, slightly beaten with a fork, is irresistible to her; I prepared one and set it in front of her on the kitchen floor. She did eat very little, and I had the impression she was doing this more out of politeness, doing me a favour. After only a few sips, she went to "her" room and retreated underneath the bed. She is there now, and I periodically check on her to see whether she is still breathing.

Pukky is not my first cat, and not the first one I lose to old age and illness, and mentally, I am of course always prepared for that - as is everyone who has been a pet owner for a long time. But seeing her so weak makes my heart ache, and I find it rather hard to concentrate on work today.

Also, on Monday night, I had upsetting news from a close friend of mine: he is in hospital after having suffered a particular form of stroke. This came totally out of the blue, and when I researched the medical term, the information I found sounded very scary.
So you can imagine my relief when, last night, I had better news: the prognosis is good, and he is expected to make a full recovery eventually.

My friends and family mean a lot to me (I am no exception there), and I do hope he'll be getting better every day.
As for Pukky, I'll have to wait and see.

25 comments:

  1. The day we all dread because we know we are the ones who have to make the call - and we do, so that they don't suffer because we love them, even though it breaks our hearts. I know you will do whatever you can and I feel for you as you wait to hear from the vets.
    Thoughts across the miles....

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    1. Thanks, Fi, you are so kind.

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    2. This is the big downside of having pets, isn't it. I do hope Pukky improves. He is obviously very much loved.

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    3. It is indeed, Frances. At the moment, I am not very optimistic about her. But in any case, I know we gave her a good life after getting her from the shelter.

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  2. I hope your friend makes a full recovery as soon as possible.

    Whatever happens with Pukky you will always have the consolation of knowing you took her from being a street cat to make her life one of love and pampering. Thinking of you.

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  3. Hello Meike:
    Oh how our hearts are heavy having read your post today. The illness of a pet is always so difficult to deal with as one is so conscious of their total dependency upon us and the responsibility for them hangs so heavily in such a situation as this.

    Our own cats were all 'rescued' and the only comfort is in knowing that one gave them a life at all and, indeed, a loving and comfortable life at that. Our thoughts are with you.

    The news of your friend does sound promising and we do so hope that he will be restored to full fitness soon.

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    1. Thank you, Jane and Lance. I am having a very difficult (and quite tearful) day with Pukky, and every comment on here is very welcome.

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  4. So sorry Meike about Pukky! I have 2 old girls (dogs) so I know what you are going through. They are such a part of us, our pets! We already lost one to cancer. The oldest is almost 14 now and has congestive heart and really bad joints. I'm hoping she goes quietly and I don't have to have her put to sleep. Vet says I'll know when its time. She is such a trooper though and I always say I want to be like her when I grow up! I am very glad for your friends good news though!

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    1. So am I, Peggy Ann! And thumbs up to your two old girls :-)

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  5. I am so sorry to read the news in your blog today....I've been through the deaths of several dear pets in my lifetime. they are so truly part of our families. Just be glad that you gave Pukky a happy life that she would probably otherwise never have known, and are now giving her the comfort of your kindness and caring. I hope your friend is doing well, too. Too much sadness, all at once, in your world, Meike. I send you my prayers.

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    1. And it all came so shortly after the untimely death of my brother-in-law, which for me brought up quite a lot in connection with my husband's death two years ago. Things do have a tendency to form clusters, don't they?

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  6. Death of a pet is very sad. My beloved dog of 14 years passed away in my arms. I think of all the happines she gave me and I still miss her. Think of all the love you shared with Pukky and pray that she doesn't suffer.
    Don't forget good things also come in clusters...

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    1. Yes it is, Marco Pasha. Pukky died this afternoon at 15.15. I felt her last heart beat and heard her last breath. It was a rather difficult day but I am glad she is now at peace, so to speak.

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  7. Such a sad time when you know they are leaving and you want to make that passing as easy as possible, but oh how you hate to do it!

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    1. Thankfully, Jill, she died here at home, with me there, stroking her and talking to her, not on a cold steel table in a vet's surgery, already scared by the trip in the car and the sounds and smells at the surgery.

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    2. I'm glad you were able to avoid that last scary trip to the vet's surgery. And glad you were there to ease her at the end.

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  8. Dear Meike,
    You know that Richard had a very scary time this past year but we kept promising ourselves that if he got better we would climb our mountains every chance we got, we have kept our promise! I'm glad your friend is better.
    Oh, I just read the comments above and see that your sweet cat is gone.
    Just think of how happy your cat has been with you and what a wonderful life you gave to her, you and your late husband...didn't you tell us he said, "We're keeping this one..."

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    1. Yes, Kay, it was Steve - no, actually, it was the other way round. When we went to the shelter a few days after we had had my old cat put to sleep, Pukky was the one to keep winding herself around Steve's legs, while the lady at the shelter showed me all those young, sweet kittens. Pukky looked terrible back then; she had lost a lot of her fur after first the birth of her babies, weaning them and then having been neutred, but she obviously took an instant liking to Steve, and he said, we're having this one.
      I remember when you told me about Richard and how scary it all was, and I am very glad you have been able to enjoy Arabia mountain so many times since!

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  9. Sorry to hear Pukky passed away. Thinking of you.

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    1. Thank you, John. I know you know how it feels, I remember when you mentioned that your cat had died.

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  10. Losing a loved pet is strangely hard and 7 years later I still sometimes look behind me before I step backwards in the kitchen because that's where BP used to come and sit when I was cooking. But the Glad Game is a powerful friend and the life you gave Pukky must have given you great memories and made Pukky a happy cat.

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    1. Yes, it will take some time getting used to not having Pukky around anymore; for 25 years I have not been without a cat for more than a week when at home, and it was always something to look forward to when I was away on holiday, to come home and give her a good cuddle.

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