Friday 10 February 2012

About Dressing Up... Or Down

Some time ago, fellow blogger SP wrote about her decision to do away with all her outfits that are not jeans or tops that can be worn with them, with an interesting discussion ensuing in a string of comments. GB was one of those who commented, and then did his own post about clothes and what they mean to him. SP's post made me want to write about the topic as well, and here I am - so, thank you, SP, for being the original muse behind this post :-)


Actually, it is not the first time I address this; if you go to "Fashion for the shallow-minded" under my header, you will find some more insight into the Librarian With Secret's mind regarding clothes; I won't attempt to avoid repeating some of what I wrote before.


For the majority of time, throughout civilization, strict dress codes were in order. The ruling classes determined who was to wear what, and if, say, a peasant woman in Medieval times would have somehow gotten hold of a garment in a colour not allowed to her class (purple or royal blue, for instance), she would have had to face dire consequences. 
In many cultures around the globe, such strict dress codes are still in order (I am not only referring to the burka), and not all of them have a religious background. Until not that many decades ago, in my part of the world fashion dictate reigned, and it was virtually impossible to find anything in the shops that was not in fashion but maybe would have fitted one's body shape a lot better. Today, at least where I live, there is a huge choice of garments, coming in all sizes, shapes and colours (and I am taking full advantage of this choice!), and although dress codes are still largely in place in the business world, it is widely accepted to actually go as you please no matter what the occasion, and only the size of one's body and purse along with personal taste and style determines what we wear.


While my clothes do not need to come from any particular designer or have to have a certain label attached to them (matching price tag included), there are a few shops where I hardly ever leave without finding at least one item to take home. The reason for that is simple: I am of such average size that there is always something there that fits me. Whether there is something there I like is a different question, of course. But, unfortunately, there almost always is...
I say "unfortunately", because while to many ladies, my wardrobe will seem modest in dimensions, I know that I own far more clothes than what I truly need, and therefore I have set myself a rule some of you have been thinking about adopting for their book cases: one in, one out (or, even better, one in, two out).
Since I am quite good at rules and sticking to them, I have indeed gotten continuously rid of items in exchange for the new ones I brought, so I am doing well in that department.


But why do I want all those different clothes anyway?
My choice of clothes dipends greatly on the occasion (work or play? work outside, at a fair, seeing a customer, at the office with my boss, or from home? a walk across the fields or into town centre? going to the opera or to the pub quiz?), the weather (-18 Celsius, as seems to be the norm these days, or +35, which makes most people seek the shade whereever they can but sees me positively thriving; rain and puddles on the pavement, or dry and warm enough for sandals? am I going to have to go there and back on my own two feet, or will someone drive?) and, last but not least, my mood.
While I may sometimes be in the mood for something more glamorous, the outside factors I have no influence on do in the end determine what I wear.
This does, I must admit, sometimes prevent me from looking the way I would like to for a specific occasion, but most of the time, I can reconcile the voice of reason with my own ideas of what I want to be seen in.


Getting dressed is part of daily life's fun for me; I enjoy putting together an outfit in my head first, and then in front of my wardrobe, and enjoy the feeling my clothes give me for the day (or the night). The whole process is a lot less time-consuming than it may sound; I am usually dressed within a few minutes and do not waste time in front of the bathroom mirror doing my hair (there is nothing to "do" there anyway) or putting on make-up (except for those special occasions, but even then, it is a question of five minutes - I wouldn't even know how to go about all the complicated stuff many women do with their hair and face every day!).


I also like caring for my clothes, arranging them neatly (more or less) in my wardrobe, ironing them, etc. Yes, I honestly like to iron. It gives me peace of mind; I am doing something with my hands while my mind can be occupied with something else. When I am on my own (which is usually the case while I am doing such householdy things), I like to listen to an episode of "In Our Time" on BBC Radio4's website.


For special occasions such as going to the opera (or, as was the case on New Year's Eve, a posh restaurant), deciding on what to wear and getting dressed up is part of the overall experience for me, which is one reason why I would never dream of wearing just jeans for such an event. A night at the opera is certainly not an everyday thing in my life, but indeed something very special, and I like to express this specialness by wearing clothes that I do not wear everyday.
Also, even though I know the artists on the stage can not see me in the darkened audience (and should not be distracted from their performance anyway), to me it is a sign of showing them respect for what they do, all the hard work so many people (and certainly not just those visible on the stage!) have put into this, creating an unforgettable evening. It IS a lot of hard work, it deserves respect, and that respect, for me, ends not with paying for the ticket and being quiet while the show is going on.


Don't get me wrong - by saying that, I do not wish to imply that the many people who decide NOT to dress up for special occasions are not showing respect to those who make it all work for them. I am convinced they enjoy the performance as much as anyone else, and do not take it for granted that they have the possibility of being there. This is entirely my personal opinion about the subject, and why it matters to me what I wear.


The same is true about invitations to friends; of course there is a difference between a lavish dinner and an informal party where 50 people squeeze into a 2-room flat and spend the evening, bottle or glass in hand, standing because there are not enough chairs, chatting to the other guests and having a relaxed good time. But still, an invitation means someone wants me to be at their place, and I want to show them that I feel honoured by their appreciation of me, and I show this by dressing nicely. And I feel just as relaxed and up to the fun in a pretty dress than I can in a pair of jeans.


When I am the host and my guests arrive, I do of course notice what they are wearing, but I do not judge them by it. If someone comes to a party of mine and they are in jeans, this won't mean they will never be invited again - I may even be wearing jeans myself :-) (And, frankly, I am much more often at other people's parties than I am hosting my own anyway.)


So, the shallowness of getting dressed up (or down) is not really that shallow after all, is it? In fact, quite a lot of thought goes in there, and to wear the same kind of outfit day in, day out would feel much too uniform-like to me. Again, I emphasize the last two words: TO ME. Not necessarily to anyone else!


And naturally, this post is a good excuse to post some more pictures to show you examples of my day-to-day type dressing up and down:

32 comments:

  1. What a great post! I particularly like the idea of showing respect to the performers at the Opera. You're right -- it is a special occasion and I too like to dress up for the specialness of the evening. Recently I went to a large reunion, which was held in the ballroom of a very nice hotel, on a warm summer evening. I was quite looking forward to going until I saw that the invitation said, "casual dress only." In fact, I was rather disappointed. I did as the invitation said, but I had so been looking forward to dressing up and wearing something really nice in honour of the occasion. Ah well, times change, and I guess I will have to change with them!!

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    1. I understand your disappointment, but I am sure you still found something just a tad bit nicer than the average casual outfit. "Casual" for some people means almost formal for others, so there was, I assume, still a wide range of outfits to be seen at the reunion.

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  2. Like you I have a rule, dictated by space, of one in, one out. I find it works well as a discipline and can always find something to let go.
    Also like you, I enjpoy dressing up for occasions - sadly such events seem few and far between.
    Unlike you, to me ironing is a chore. Partner-who-drinks-tea is also averse to ironing so it generally comes down to me to do it (which is fair enough - she works and I don't). One of the great things about staying with GB - as I do most years for a month or more - is that he loves ironing so I get my clothes ironed by someone else. Thanks GB!

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    1. Yes, such events are few and far between, which gives me all the more reason to make the most of those few I am going to.
      I wonder how many people out there are like GB and myself and actually like ironing. Maybe I could create a little of an extra income by that :-)

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  3. Good Gracious no! Dressing up is anything BUT shallow! How can anyone not enjoy the chance to dress up in one's best finery and strut about?
    How we dress has a profound effect on both how we feel and how others treat us. The enjoyment of an occasion is magnified by treating it with some regard and choosing an outfit that compliments it. How much more enjoyable it is to go to the theatre in a fine suit with a smart overcoat, with hat to match and a white silk scarf.
    I think in fact we should create more occasions just so we can dress up. I am sure i am not alone in my belief that it makes one feel much better about oneself and generally makes the world a better place.

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    1. Well, a lot of people, apparently, don't enjoy the chance to dress up at all - they find it tiresome, which is a shame, because some of those I personally know look truly good in a pretty dress or a smart suit, and in my opinion would do well in wearing such outfits more often.
      As for creating occasions; well, I am still thinking about throwing a cocktail party for my birthday, with everyone required to wear cocktail dresses (not the men, maybe...), but I fear I would end up having to celebrate alone or just with my Mum.
      Yes to hats!

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  4. Librarian, if I had legs like yours I'd never put them away!

    I was a violinist when I worked though and had to be dressed in long black for work, after 40 years I'm so glad not to have to be dressed up.

    SP

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    1. SP, I know - and I understand your aversity to dressing up; still seems a shame, though :-) Since I have never worn a long evening dress in all my life, I don't really know what it would be like having to wear one for work for so many years.

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  5. Cara Librarian,anche a me piace vestire in maniera diversa in base alle occasioni...sempre curata,ma magari informale se devo andare a cena di amici o elegante quando vado a teatro!!!Non mi interessa vestire con abiti di marca ed ho uno stile tutto mio,un po' romantico,un po' country!!!!Tratto con cura i miei abiti,ma stirare no,non mi piace proprio!!!Mi annoia!
    ora ti abbraccio e a presto!
    Cri.

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    1. Cri, grazie per il tuo commento, e ti abbraccio in ritorno!
      xx

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  6. Meike, I think its fun to dress up too. I love to wear lots of bracelets thin and silver, or even dress up a jeans outfit with a beautiful neck scarf and pretty socks.
    I like to buy very plain things, especially linen, and alter them a bit.
    I think cashmere is wonderful!
    Fun post
    xx
    julie

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    1. That's the creative you, Julie! Cashmere and silk are my favourite materials, both feel just wonderful to the skin, but my wardrobe does not contain that many items made of either one, I'm afraid.

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  7. Love the color-block dress and the vivid blue tights, but really love the relaxed you in your skinny jeans.

    The day after I retired I threw out every pair of pantyhose I owned and every pair of heels and vowed never to wear either of them again.

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    1. And did you really stick to your vow and never wear heels and pantyhose again?

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    2. Indeed I did. I kept one pair, in case of a funeral, and threw them away after several years because they had dry-rotted.

      In my defense, after retirement, I moved right away to the Florida west coast and lived for seven years in shorts and bathing suits drinking rum drinks on the beach and by the pool.

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    3. Sounds like a delightful seven years, Jill!!!

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  8. Great post Meike. I'm with you all the way.

    Although my life-style dictates a much less formal and structured approach to what I wear most of the time in NZ I wear shorts a great deal but I still like to wear a colour that matches how I feel and then the top depends on what I'm doing - playing croquet or going for lunch with a friend or whatever. The only thing I rarely wear is the smart suit uniform I wore when I was a bureaucrat.

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    1. Thanks, GB, I was hoping you were going to comment, because it is nice having people agree with me :-) (not only, of course - that would be too boring). CJ says you like ironing, so maybe you and I should start a worldwide network of Happy Ironers and offer relief to those who see it as a chore.

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    2. That's another thing I don't do anymore along with wearing pantyhose and heels. I don't iron!

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    3. Do you only have things that do not need ironing then?

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  9. When we go away, we always change for dinner - nothing long and floaty, just more dressy than our day wear. I always wear toning colours, even if I'm doing the housework in old clothes, and I try to always wear lipstick, as I look as if I've just died without it!

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    1. I only wear lipstick when I, like today, work at a fair or visit customers, for parties and other special occasions, but not every day. As for toning colours - yes, me too, even if I'm doing the housework, what I wear usually matches.

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  10. It is interesting to me to watch old films from the 50's, 60's, 70's and even the 80's and see how much better dressed we were then. This is especially so when I see footage from an old sporting event. (And since I live in America, I am only talking of this country). I am sometimes surprised by some of the clothes that I see women wearing, oftentimes "mutton dressed as lamb" as my English mother-in-law calls it! If you are ABLE to wear it and it looks good on you, then wear it, but don't be a slave to fashion and wear something just for the sake of it. It was crazy to see women wearing BOOTS this winter in Georgia, when we had the mildest winter imaginable! (Of course, they could wear them this weekend, it's turned cold and will be in the 20's tomorrow!)
    A very thoughtful post on clothes. Goodness me, how can I go this far and not mention that you should do more clothing posts, you look like a model! If I were as tall as you, I would go crazy buying clothes!

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    1. Oh Kay do you remember (don't know how old you are!) how we used to 'dress' to fly. Airplane trips started with women boarding in suits, hats, gloves. I do miss that even though my last flight was made in jeans, no hat, no gloves, and comfortable shoes. I probably looked like a bag lady, but so did every other person on the flight...a shame.

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    2. Kay, I don't have any clothes just for the sake of it; there is a lot in fashion that I would not want to be seen dead in. And I am glad you like my fashion posts :-) Actually, I am not that tall; 5'8" (or 1,74 m).

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  11. Even just "at home" each day, I choose my clothes with care. I think it's a matter of self-respect, perhaps an aspect of the respect shown to others by dressing appropriately to the occasion.

    I do need, though, to implement a 'one-in, two-out' rule. (Ouch)

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    1. Same here, Debbie! And thank you for popping in and commenting :-)

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  12. It's a form of art, craft, something like that. It's creative. I think that looking after clothes is probably part of the whole process.

    I am not very good at looking after my clothes, though, perhaps because my wardrobe is too crowded, and I need to get rid of some things and be ruthless!

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    1. Jenny, a certain ruthlessness certainly helps :-) As for looking after my clothes - I must admit I am very bad (and very lazy) at mending clothes. Only for very, very favoured items do I consider sewing a button back on, for instance; I am one of those careless lazy women who rather buy a new blouse than sew a button back on to an old one. There is one exception, my pink satin blouse, which I incidentally wore last night to a party; it may come up in another fashion post soon.

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  13. Hello, Librarian.

     Lovely your works, full of JOY.

     I am enlightened by your splendid works.
     Thank you for showing your heartwarming world.

     The prayer for all peace.
      
    Have a good week. From Japan, ruma ❃

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    1. Hello ruma, thank you for your kind comment! I think you are the very first person from Japan to visit my blog :-)

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